Believe me, I've heard my share of chef jokes. While I have a dozen or so go-to jokes about my profession, the one I'm sharing here is my all-time favorite.
Of course, not all jokes about chefs are directly related to cooking. Because of the close association between France and gourmet food, plenty of jokes about the French are also excellent jokes to use on chefs. But my all-time favorite isn't at the expense of the French. Not only is it a chef joke, it's actually a grammar joke at the same time. Since I'm something of a grammar snob, this joke is a perfect fit for me. It goes a little something like this:
Once upon a time, there was a chef in America who prided himself on his ability to find the best, freshest, and most seasonal ingredients, going to any length to gather them, sparing no expense.
For instance, when the morels were finally popping up in the Midwest, he'd jump on a plane and hike as far as he could into the backwoods of Missouri and pluck only the freshest, tastiest, and most valuable mushrooms.
Another example - whenever the wild blueberries started to pop up in the state of Maine, home of the best blueberries in the world, our chef friend would charter a helicopter to take him up to the Maine coast to pluck only the finest, freshest berries.
One day, our friend the ingredient-obsessed chef got a call from a friend in New Jersey, telling him that the scrod were finally starting to run up the Atlantic Coast. Naturally, the chef bought a plane ticket right away, landed in Philadelphia, and ran straight to a waiting cab. "Take me," he yelled at the cab driver, "to get scrod!"
"Wow!" replied the highly-educated cab driver, "That's the first time I ever heard that particular request in the pluperfect subjunctive!"
Okay, so maybe it's not the best chef joke ever - but it's my personal favorite. If you have a favorite chef joke, please share it with me. I'm always on the look-out for puns, one-liners, and stories to tell other chefs.
